It’s one of the many joys of editing, all the things you need to look for. “She ran toward me,” conveys slightly more agency on the part of the character than, “She came running toward me.” And especially if you were going to add the phrase, “screaming in fear,” the first form would be preferable. Go with the simpler form of the verb if you can. It’s one of my personal weaknesses, and too many -ing verbs in rapid succession tend to draw attention to themselves. It’s something you need to keep an eye on as a writer. It’s punchier, (even though it ends in a preposition). It would be particularly effective if this character had just killed someone.īut Beowulf could have gritted his teeth as he ripped Grendel’s arm off. “I’m thinking,” conveys a different shade of meaning than, “I think.” And “Whistling to himself, he walked down the road,” is a lovely way to portray simultaneous action and show a character being satisfied with himself, rather than telling it. An excellent link for those who want further information can be found here.) (AKA the present participle for those who care about such things. Okay, it shows simultaneous action, which is one good reason to use an -ing form of a verb. There are reasons for adding a verb be and giving the -ing form to the verb, but make sure you have one.įor example: Beowulf gritted his teeth as he was ripping the arm from Grendel. There’s a more subtle gaffe as well: The hawk was swooping down upon the snake. You’ve put the snake in the place of the hawk, when he’s clearly doing nothing, not even getting away. The worst thing you could do here is to say: The snake was swooped down upon by the hawk. The hawk is clearly doing the acting here. The subject does the acting the object is acted upon.Ī clear example would be: The hawk swooped down on the snake. Most sentences of any length involve a subject and an object. This post will involve a quick grammar lesson, but I’ll keep it short. Once you distinguish which voice you should implement, it is helpful to have rules of thumb for each one.Passive voice is pervasive and often unwise. Switching from Passive to Active Swap Passive Voice for Active VoiceĪs mentioned above, swapping from active voice to passive voice (or vice versa) depends on the scenario of your scene, story, essay, etc. You prefer a longer lasting visual of an action: The sun is rising over Tatooine.Īctive voice can give your writing an adrenaline-pinching twist, but passive voice can create suspense, mystery, and even help you cultivate a specific progression of time. Someone does not want to take responsibility for the action: “ The Bellagio was robbed” versus “ We robbed the Bellagio.”.You do not want the reader to know who is performing the action: The Joker is being hunted.Passive voice can be an asset in a number of scenarios: In some cases, passive voice can, much like active voice, add to the quality of your writing when used properly. In the case of passive voice, the object of the sentence is prioritized over the subject. While active voice can be considered “stronger” than passive voice, passive voice has its place in writing, too. Using active voice can make your story more engaging and your characters more proactive, and as such, many writers prefer to use active voice. Past and present tense: “ Batman hunted the Joker.” versus “ Batman hunts the Joker.”.Scene descriptions: The sun rises over Tatooine.When you want your character to deliberately engage in an action: Remy controls Linguini.Not only does active voice give a complete depiction of unfolding events, but it can actually give your writing the feeling of vivacity and energy rather than docility and submissiveness.Īctive voice can be used in multiple scenarios. When the priority of the sentence is to explain action in the most detailed way, we can include the subject who completes the action, the verb which denotes the action, and the object which is receiving the action. Most sentence structures are built around the subject in the sense that the subject is the most important part of the action.
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